Today was an interesting day inside my brain.
Here is a random collection of stuff I feel like saying out loud to no one in particular:
- My third post to be accepted by Scary Mommy was published today. It was definitely the most controversial of the three, so I knew it would get some interesting feedback. And it did. At last count, it had nearly 10k “likes” on Facebook and over 2k shares. Which is pretty bonkers to think that that many people are reading something I wrote.
- Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve picked up on the hype about getting your work “out there”. The more views the better. And I can understand this to a point. It’s really cool to see other people relate to what I write and it’s so humbling to have people take the time to read. But there’s also a part of me that doesn’t totally understand. My post on Scary Mommy today has gotten the most traffic of anything I’ve written. And while it is a cool experience to have, I’m kind of like… “Now what?”
- It’s a really interesting experience to have a bunch of people comment on a post I wrote. A huge number of responses were so incredibly encouraging… people who had kids who needed to have their personal space respected and yet struggled with feeling “rude” if they asked for it. People who were grateful to be having the conversation about personal space and respect and physical affection and consent because they agreed that it is an important conversation. And then there were people who called me ridiculous for suggesting their kid couldn’t hug someone…
- … which, for the record, is a little out of context. In fact, a lot of the negative comments seemed like they somehow twisted my words or went a few steps beyond when it came to interpreting. And that is fine. I would NOT be putting my opinion out there for people to weigh in on if I felt like I needed to control their opinions. That would be exhausting. I totally get that people will interpret what they read through their own experiences and respond accordingly. It was just surprising to see how differently people interpreted the same piece of writing.
- … And even though I understand that it’s common for people to interpret a written blog post differently than what my intention might have been, it’s really hard to resist the urge to “defend” or “clarify” what I meant. But getting in to debates about interpretations seems like a silly use of time.
- … Also, I’m totally fine with people disagreeing with my opinion, for the record. I’m perfectly comfortable with everyone having their own opinion. I’m not out to change people’s beliefs. I’m just sharing mine, and trying to do so in a way that starts a productive conversation about a topic that I think is important. It’s never my intention to offend someone else, or imply that my opinion is the only valid opinion. Which brings me to my next point…
- …No where in this blog or in any of my writing do I mean to imply that I am the “expert”. To be clear, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. I do my best to be thoughtful about my parenting. So if I’m doing things a certain way or if I have a certain belief, I can explain to you why I’m doing it that way because I have thought about it a lot. Sometimes, this comes across as confidence, possibly even overconfidence. I am definitely trying to do the best I can. But that doesn’t mean that I think my way is the best way for anyone else, or that I think my way is better than someone else’s way.
- Lastly, while I felt like I was ready to embrace the controversy that comes with having a post with a bigger audience, this is really not my comfort zone. At all. Even though I believe in what I wrote and I think it is an important conversation, a part of me wants to crawl in a hole and only write happy foofy feel-good posts from here on out. There’s enough drama in the world and on the Internet already. Is this really something I want to be in on? I’d rather spread happiness and rainbows and glitter, you know? But then I read the quote, “If you don’t have enemies, you’re doing something wrong.” And I thought that maybe it’s ok to sometimes be in the thick of it. I guess that means I’m in on a conversation that matters.