Sometimes it is really hard to have to do it all.
Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting. Checking homework, listening to reading practice, distributing snacks, driving to gymnastics, driving to dance. Groceries, cooking, refilling prescriptions, making doctor appointments, giving vitamins, packing diaper bags, packing lunches, the latest PTA fundraiser, Christmas shopping, packing away clothes we’ve outgrown, teaching how to tie shoes and how to use the bathroom and how to be grateful for what you have.
The list goes on and on.
Honestly, I have no idea how I did it when I was working at a job outside of my house. How did I keep track of it all? It feels like a full time job right now to just do the basics. Feedings, diaper changes, baths, school drop offs and pick ups.
Parenting littles is big, big work and sometimes I’m overwhelmed with all the things I have to do.
But then some days it feels different.
Like today. Today my toddler threw a temper tantrum, like she usually does. And, like I usually do, I respond with something along the lines of, “Ahh, do you need a hug?” Usually, my offer falls on deaf ears. But today, she picked herself up off the floor and walked into my arms. Today, she let me hold her for just a for just a few seconds. And then she was better.
Today, my two month old got her first round of shots. Three big pokes in two itty bitty legs. She cried and cried and my heart broke. But I held her until it passed. And then I held her for most of the evening until my legs were stiff and my back was sore and my arms were numb.
Today, I remembered that I don’t have to do it all.
I GET to do it all.
I get to check homework. I get to listen to reading practice. I get to make lunches and make doctors appointments, drive to activities and pick up from school. I get to do baths and cook meals and tuck everyone in with a hug and kiss. I get to nourish tiny bodies and feed tiny souls and hold tiny hearts.
I get to be the one to provide comfort. I get to be the hug that makes big feelings feel more manageable. I get to be the word of encouragement that lights up her face.
I get to snuggle her in the wee hours of the morning. I get to be there for the best stuff and the hardest stuff.
I get to do it all.
And that won’t always be the case. As the days and the years sneak by, I will get to do less and less.
Sure, that may mean that someday I will get to read a book for more than a few stolen minutes at a time. Someday I will get to take a nap or listen to grown up music in the car or shower whenever I feel like it. And that will be pretty awesome.
But if I had to guess, I would say that when that time does come, I will miss the days I got to do it all.