Phew! Where has time gone? Second trimester came, with its deceiving bursts of energy, just like they said it would. I made meal plans, put the nursery together, brainstormed blog posts and enjoyed the feeling of “having it all together” for the most part. The time came to make a decision about what I was going to do after baby arrives in January.
For the first time in my life, I have the choice to stay home, not just for my 8 weeks of maternity leave, but officially as a “Stay At Home Mom”. To be honest, I never even expected this to be a choice for me. And even if it ever was, I never expected it to be one I would consider. When my daughter was born, I was overwhelmed. I needed my work and adult interaction. I needed to step away and have some distance each day so I didn’t drown in the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a tiny human.
But the second child is different. I’m older now. I’ve seen how quickly time passes. How the hard stages pass, and the easy stages pass, and no matter what you do everything passes. I used to think of becoming a stay at home mom as signing my life away. Now I see how fleeting these moments and years are. How this is time that I will spend the rest of my life looking back on.
Still, it wasn’t an easy decision. To give up a career I had only just started making my way into, to let go of the sacred spot on the infant waiting list at our first choice daycare. To ultimately make the jump from one “team” to the other in the great debate between working mom and stay at home mom. It takes a lot of letting go to make a decision like this. And letting go is never easy.
But in the end, the decision did feel easy. I have the rest of my life to work, to focus on myself, and only a few short, precious years to focus on these amazing little creatures I’m lucky enough to call my children.
So the decision was made. Time to jump.