No Explanation Necessary

Hey there, world. 

We ventured out yesterday to get a few groceries and necessary equipment for upcoming soccer camp. In case you bumped into us, there’s a few things I wanted to explain:

First, you may have noticed my child’s hair. It has a mind of its own, just like her, even on the days I choose to wrangle with it. Five, possibly six days out of the week (and sometimes seven) I spray her down and comb and style. And she fights me every step of the way. I don’t know why she hates having her hair done. But she just has no patience for this part of the routine. So on a Saturday morning when we are running minimal errands and then she will play outside for the rest of the day, I’m not going to fight her on it. I’m not even going to suggest it. Let your mane fly free, my little wild child. 

Secondly, her attire. Today was surprisingly tame, if you’re into pink. She chose the skirt and the shirt and I made the one requirement that it was chilly enough that pants were required. So she added pants. Under the skirt. And that’s fine by me. I completely admire the parents out there whose kid looks like they rolled out of baby gap. And I completely admire the parents whose kids look like they played in a barn all day. Or the kids who just rolled out of bed. Or the kids who dressed themselves. No matter how your kid is dressed, you’re doing your parenting thang and you know your kid better than anyone else. My kid, she needs to be able to choose her own outfit sometimes. All pink. Skirt included. 

Thirdly, (is thirdly actually a word? I mean, we say it but does it really exist in the rules and stuff?) you may have picked up on her energy. She probably bounced through the store telling everyone about her soccer supplies and asking quested about the song lyrics she heard in the car and pointing out every single thing she sees and wondering why the store is so big and… You get the idea. Sometimes, i have to rein in that energy. Make her walk politely and keep her voice down. But let’s be honest: there were like three people in the whole store. It’s Saturday morning. She wasn’t bothering anyone or any merchandise. She was just EXCITED. I work really hard to teach my kid not to be “that kid” terrorizing strangers and public places, etc. I’m probably overly strict sometimes. And the truth is, I get tired of being the hardass. So sometimes, I’m not going to get in the way of her being excited. I’m not going to rein in that energy. She gets to skip (safely) through the store and share her happiness with the world. 

And last but not least, you may have noticed that I didn’t bother explaining any of this to you. I didn’t make excuses for her hair or jokes about her super pink attire. I didn’t give you the grown up eyes over the top of her head, the “You know how it is,” look. I didn’t try to justify her behavior or my parenting choices. Not even once. 

But the impulse was there. It always is. The one where we don’t want other people to think we are the mom who never combs their kids hair and let’s them run wild through the store. I know that I’m thoughtful and intentional in ever parenting choice I make. So why do I always feel like I need your approval?

So I guess that’s why I’m writing this. Not to explain all the stuff I just bragged about not explaining to you, but to let you know, one human to another, that it’s hard to stop seeking approval from others, even after I realize I don’t need it. And maybe it’s hard for you, too. Maybe when you meet me in the store, your impulse is to explain why your kid is licking the grocery cart and only wearing one shoe and how he’s actually trying to say “frog” but it just sounds like a different f word. 

But from one warrior to another, let’s all just assume we are all doing what’s best for ourselves and our kiddos. No explanation necessary.