I started listening to the audiobook “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids” by Dr. Laura Markham. I’m barely through the introduction and it’s already making me think.
In the introduction, there’s a brief story about a parent teaching his young son how to mow the lawn. The child accidentally mows through a flower bed. As the father begins to lose his temper, the mother interjects and reminds him, “We are raising children, not flowers.”
I thought it was a beautiful reminder about remembering what matters. Especially since it’s something I’m constantly trying to do better at as a parent.
This weekend, nesting has finally hit. Which is great because it’s a long weekend, so the husband is around to help with kids, thus giving me a slightly higher chance of actual productivity. However, it’s also important to point out that I’m three weeks away from having a baby. My physical capabilities at this point don’t exactly match my ambitions.
I spent the morning cooking freezer meals (a.k.a. making a huge mess in my kitchen) and then attempting to clean up, all the while being distracted by cupboards that needed reorganizing, etc. My parents were coming over for lunch so I was trying to get the kitchen into a somewhat less chaotic state when I turned around and saw a trail of small ribbon scraps in the doorway leading into the living room.
I followed the trail of scraps to find my six year old mid-scatter. There were notes taped on the front door and a trail leading from the front door to the kitchen.
My first reaction? “Oh hell no.”
To my credit, I didn’t say that out loud. It came out more like, “Ohhhhhh…. I am not excited about this.”
And then I stopped.
It was ribbon scraps. She was decorating for grandma and grandpa to come. What was the big deal?
So I sat down on the step and took a deep breath and said, “Ok. You know how mommy’s been working on stuff all morning and how she’s trying to get the house cleaned up? Sometimes when I’m tired from cleaning and I see you making a new mess, my first reaction is to feel frustrated. But I don’t want to be like that. I think it’s very sweet and creative of you to decorate for grandma and grandpa. Can we make the deal that it will be up to you to clean up your decorations?”
Of course, she was fine with that. And she was thrilled to see their reaction to the decorations. And she cleaned up her ribbon pieces when all was said and done.
A clean house is nice. But it’s not what matters most.